He’s the hero that Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now
Bruce Wayne could have lived his life as a millionaire playboy driving raris and smashing top-shelf trim, but that wasn’t enough. Instead, he fist-bumped Morgan Freeman, suited up and became a fucking legend, because that’s what a man does when he has the opportunity to help those in need. Being a good wingman is the same thing. Whether your boy just got out of a long-term relationship or needs to break a cold streak, it’s your job to pull your head out of your ass, put your self-interest aside for two seconds and help him meet girls. It’s not only your job, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do and sets apart a mediocre friend from a thunder buddy for life.
Even the Dark Knight had to get stomped for a while before he could start dropkicking Ra’s al Ghul in the dick
First things first, it’s important to start slow. Remember, that being single for the first time in a while is a the equivalent to getting your ass kicked by Liam Neisen over and over again until you figure out how to stab a motherfucker in the heart. Make it very clear that he doesn’t have to take someone home for the night to be a success. The most important thing is that you’re getting him comfortable speaking to the opposite sex again. Every interaction you help facilitate brings him one step closer to the ultimate goal of him being comfortable and confident on his own.
This brings us to you
It’s all about the intro. As the wingman it’s your job to approach every young woman your boy is interested in and talk to them to get things going. We know, initiating a conversation with real-life females in the era of Tinder is a lost art, but as a wingman it’s your duty to put aside all fear of rejection and take one for the team. Here are a few helpful ideas and thought starters:
1. The Honest Play
This comes in different variations, but essentially it boils down to telling the girl what the situation is and seeing if she’s cool enough to be up for it. For example: “Hi girls, my friend over there just got out of a long-term relationship, he thinks you are super cute and I know it would mean a lot to him if we could just buy you a drink and hang out for a bit.” It’s as easy as that.
2. The Alias
This is the opposite of the honesty play, and just good fun all around. Give your boy a new name, job title, income statement… well shit, rent him a nice car for the night. Must be performed at least 5-10 miles away from home address unless population of your current city exceeds 250,000. For more information, watch the first 20 minutes of Wedding Crashers. This is a blast, has about a 30% success rate and is always in play in Vegas.
3. PPN – Photo into Phone Number
This is a great “day time” technique, and my personal favorite.
You: “Hey girls, do you mind taking a photo of my friends and I?”
Literally every person on the planet: “Yeah, of course!”
The photo is immediately followed on your end by: “What are you girls doing today/later tonight?”
Here’s the important part, since she already has your phone it’s time to wingman your boy. No matter what they say, you’re doing the same thing now. “No way! So are we, chuck your number in my phone and we’ll meet up!”
4. Numbers game
If at first you don’t succeed, find a new group of girls and repeat. Don’t stress, even Brady needs to throw a few routes to get warm. If nothing else, your boy will respect your effort and commitment to his success.
Be a fucking legend
It’s important to put your interests aside tonight. Don’t get distracted by someone that catches your eye and leave your boy to fend for himself. It’s a major win if all parties meet someone but your time will come. First, let’s get our boy in a good conversation with a potential winner. Then it’s ok to begin your own search.