Preparing your own Friendsgiving is a lot like that depressing and exciting feeling you got when registering for the Selective Service
It means you’re finally an adult and is usually followed by the realization that being a grown up is hard and you already hate it. Regardless, a Thanksgiving event away from your family is a step towards adulthood that is going to happen at some point in your life whether you like it or not. On the one hand, it means you get to skip listening to drunk Uncle Leonard lecturing you on the eroding moral fiber of America. On the other, you’re going to miss going home and catching a glimpse of the formerly nerdy girl next door who is now a total smoke show.
So, in lieu of your wonderful mother doing everything for you, you’re gearing up for Friendsgiving with the boys
The day is rapidly approaching and you may think you’re in the clear from having any responsibilities, but that’s about as true as thinking you have a chance with the previously mentioned neighbor. Friendsgiving is a sleeper holiday. Especially if you’re a 20-something guy who is absolutely clueless as to how hard it is to prep a meal while entertaining a large group of guests. There’s a reason why we only do this once a year; it’s hard, takes time and you actually need to think a few days into the future if you want to do it right.
With that in mind, it’s time to try harder and learn how to not be an asshat at Friendsgiving. We know this is hard, so we’ve divided it into two sections for you to digest: Preparation and Game Day Considerations.
Don’t be that guy
You know, the last-minute, “oh shit, I don’t have anything” guy. It’s a total dick move and directly affects how much fun other people are going to have. Go shopping a few days in advance and have a plan. If you try and battle suburban moms at the grocery store for the day-of scraps, you will lose. Barbara takes no prisoners and you’re not going to fight a 45-year-old woman in public for the last box of stuffing.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself
The night before Thanksgiving is usually a big night out, so don’t be a rookie and get so shithoused that you can’t enjoy the best meal of the year the next day. The bar isn’t high here. Literally, the only thing you need to do is be functional enough to show up and eat a late afternoon meal. Try harder.
Actually make something before you get hammered
Buying something from the store is the ultimate Friendsgiving Chad move. You’ve somehow convinced a group of humans to spend an important holiday with you and they deserve better than Kirkland Signature cold cuts and cheese. To make this simple, we’re even telling you what to make and what wine to pair it with.
You’re making espresso brownies and bringing bottles of red wine from MOTTO Wines. You’re welcome.
Because even you can make them without totally blowing it, they pair well with red wine and nothing drops panties faster than saying, “I brought homemade espresso brownies with a red wine pairing.” It can be any one of their three California Reds. We found that MOTTO’s “Backbone” Cabernet works best with the espresso brownies but all of them are easy to drink, won’t break the bank and have great labels (we know that’s usually how you decide what to buy anyway.)
Help the chef while watching out for the chef
If you know anything about excellent chefs, it’s that they’re excellent drinkers. For the sake of everyone, lend a hand and make sure the chef doesn’t get too drunk to carve the turkey. Nothing is worse than having five halfway finished courses or eating your dinner in the emergency room while they try to reattach a thumb.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint
No work and limited responsibilities is an opportunity to hit the send button a little too hard on day drinking or some strange tasting gummies that Chad brought home from his trip to Colorado. Yeah, you might be able to rally during the main course and make a comeback during dessert, but it’s not a good look. We know your family isn’t there, but be responsible and lock it up.
Like the pilgrims, plant a seed or two
It’s highly probable that Friendsgiving is going to merge a couple of friend groups or at the very least bring some outsiders into the fold. Make some new friends, do some networking, and spit some hot fire at the girl who just got out of a long-term relationship. It’s a holiday after all.